· Lockheed Martin® nuclear waste right up the road. They'll vote on it Monday in the House.
· Dow® chemicals on the lawn. Dog. Warn kids.
· Monsanto® insecticides on the tomatoes, they're all cuddling together in the low-density polyethylene bag in the crisper. Wash tomatoes.
Don't look at the Styrofoam box spacers in the basement.
Black exhale of Peabody Energy® blowing in from the West.
Mixing with the rest of the Respirable Particulate Matter (PM10)
swirling in solution all around you.
Must Breathe
The cul-de-sac with its spiderweb of cracks
filled up with that chemical, durable, heat-resistant
crude-oil-based sealant they use. Must
· Go to Staples® Wal-Mart® Target® Sam's Club® Office Depot® Radio Shack® Safeway®
Dollar Store®
You'll get low-density polyethylene bags to put shit in.
Don't forget:
· Garbage Bags. Get the ones on sale at Safeway®
· Coupon.
· Take the **Chevy®
Its polymer bodywork and consoles, its polyisoprene tires, polybutadiene mounts,
polyisobutylene tire-linings, hoses and belts-just
nestle the polystyrene egg cartons safely in the vinyl back seat
along with the disposable Rubbermaid® containers, polyurethane stuffed
lumbar pillow, polyethylene OJ cartons and K-Mart® kid's toys, polyethylene terephthalate Diet Coke® bottles (with polypropylene threaded caps).
Just remember
· **Chevy needs an oil change.
· Jiffy Lube® coupon.
· Relax your shoulders.
· Breathe deep.
· Drive relaxed. Relax brow. Unclench teeth.
Relax into polyamide shirt.
Breathe. Look out polycarbonate windows
with their ethylene propylene window channelings
look, mainly
Well,
at other people's cars.
Need to:
· Relax your neck. Let your jaw go slack.
· Meridians, Deepak shockras, Chopra™ chi, flow, let it all flow.
Sweat.
Toes and feet need to sweat into polyester socks
in Nike® trainers
with ethylene vinyl acetate midsoles and styrene butadiene outersoles.
Go ahead and safely operate your tenite propionate gas and brake pedals.
· Breathe deep, tighten abs. Remember:
Straight back.
Drive home
polymethylmethacrylate blender under the sink
polypropylene ketchup bottle on the plastic tray on the door of the fridge
the shampoo and conditioner bottles in the plastic shower
39 Tupperware® containers with 36 tops in the cupboard*
polyvinyl chloride deck chairs out back under the plastic umbrella,
polyamide Sony® TV and AIWA® speakers in the family room
polyvinylidene chloride Saran Wrap® in the kitchen drawer.
*Missing three tuppertops. Why?
Ask Susan.
· Groceries
8 comments:
This is really good. Thanks for your participation, Mr. Merrill. I'm thinking Shouts and Murmurs.
Thanks, D. It was great talking to you on the phone the other day.
Would it be possible to get rid of the freakin' "big American penis" poll?
Just a suggestion.
The big american penis is no more. In case you were wondering, that was Shad's doing. I hope he won't feel emasculated now.
After talking with you on phone I had an idea about my Creative Non-fiction Project. What if I structured the book based on the elements and properties of the Great American Novel? Each chapter title would correlate with one of these elements/properties.
So my next question is this: what are the properties/elements that make up the GAM, in your opinion? Also, what sources do you recommend I check out that define the GAM? Also, what books do you consider to be GAMs? Of course these are difficult questions, but keep in mind I am coming at it from a somewhat satirical direction. I'm thinking of the lead character as a kind of Don Quixote -- idealistic, but out of touch and a little delusional.
Have a great day and enjoy your solitude with the mutt.
Shad would probably have more pithy insights into what constitutes the Great American Novel, but I'll take a stab at it:
I always thought one key element was self invention and/or self re-invention, as in The Great Gatsby, Theodore Dreiser's An American Tragedy, Don Carpenter's Hard Rain Falling, Nella Larson's Passing, etc.
It should deal with race relations and the fallout of America's original sins (slavery and/or "ethnic cleansing" of Native Americans) in complicated ways.
It has to be shimmering and tragic.
There should be a journey from one world into a different "new" world... which could be a move from working class to high society, from East to West, from South to North, from rural to metro, whatever.
It should be both critical and in awe of American culture. It should elucidate the virtues and the failings of the working class.
"Muscular" prose never hurts.
It must at least acknowledge the existence of Hollywood.
Thanks, that's an awesome response. I would ask Shad, but it's difficult getting a straight answer out of the dude, these days. Plus, he'd use the opportunity to make fun of me. Bastard.
Oh, what do you think of the beats (Jack and Allen, etc)? Do you consider On the Road as a GAM? I ask because the beats were huge influences in my life at that time (especially with drug experimentation and reckless behavior and really bad prose writing).
I should probably call you again today so I can bore you further, and since you're alone, what else are you going to do? Oh, yeah, you got your post-apocalypse to pull off. Can't wait to hear a song or two.
I liked On the Road, when I read it (maybe 15 years ago), and I still love Howl.
That said, I'm not a big fan of the beats.
These days I think of the beats as a bunch of relatively uncritical white guys predictably trying to appropriate other cultures and feeling all-the-while entitled to do so.
They're also all--to a man--sexist in really boring ways.
What do you think?
Is On the Road the Great American Novel? Most people would probably put it on the list. I don't think of it that way, but that doesn't really matter. I'm just some dude.
I guess when I think of the "Great American Novel" I think of Moby-Dick, Invisible Man, The Great Gatsby, The Sound and the Fury, Libra, Mao II, Song of Solomon, An American Tragedy, Hard Rain Falling, Their Eyes Were Watching God, Catch-22(even though it's a "war" novel), The Things They Carried, Blood Meridian.
How about you?
oh my god what a crazy week: threw my back out, caught a bad case of poison oak, Miara got really bad food poisoning, then Sianna and I caught some 24-hour stomach flu. On the fourth of July no less (the flu thing, not all those things combined).
So now I'm kidless again and back to the project. I like your list; Moby Dick is the original GAM, for sure. I have Mao II, haven't read it yet. Who wrote Libra? There's also Beloved (and maybe other Morrison novels, I don't know), The Color Purple?
In my research, came across this interesting site called The Great American Novel Challenge. Here it is: file:///Users/damiansebouhian/Documents/Blayne%20Sucks%20»%20Blog%20Archive%20»%20The%20Great%20American%20Novel%20Challenge.webarchive
Libra is by Don DeLillo. It's one of the best books I've ever read.
The Color Purple crossed my mind, too. Probably should be on the list.
Your link didn't work. Could you post it again?
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